FROM: The voice of Civilization AKA: B.Gnl. Ruff-Husband, CO 1st Brigade Peshawar FF
TO: Sardar Gul Akbar,
RE: Your latest Vile Effrontery of a Mockery of a Sham
Your recent crime against humanity and the manner in which you communicate it are of such monumental scale that they demand immediate response, which I have taken forthwith. Please see attached photographs (a perk of the aforementioned Civilization) showing the burning of Dargai in retribution not so much for your kidnapping of General Channers but for the egregious tone you take towards the ONE TRUE TEXT, aka: The Sword And The Flame. You seem to find such impudent mockery of the sacred amusing. I assure you, the residents of Dargai Village -- INCLUDING YOUR SISTER FARAH AKBAR, WIFE OF THE HEADMAN NAZIM GUL, and their three sons, your nephews RAZA MUHAMMAD, BABA MUHAMMAD, AND GAZA MUHAMMED -- are not currently amused, nor shall they be any time soon -- that is unless or until you release Brigadier Channers and all of his compatriots. Today it was not "papers" I ordered burned, but an entire village. If Channers & company are not immediately released, it will be the residents -- including your relations -- who burn next.
Indomitably Yours,
BG SRH, CO 1B Pesh FF -- Loyal Devotee of the True Text, AKA: TSATF
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